How To Create A NEW VERSION Of Yourself In 2023!
I assume and I've heard you say in hindsight it's like it probably was great yeah but in those moments it feels like you've actually been stabbed in the back for sure it does and I think that there have been moments where I felt betrayed even in something that wasn't for the better right I think that's a beautiful example because at the end of the day like it was for the better but there are moments where we are betrayed and it's not for the better and it cost us and it changes how we think about ourselves or others.
I feel like betrayal communicates something to us right and so we have to understand what did this communicate to me I had a betrayal last year and in the process of really navigating that betrayal what I couldn't get over is how did I miss it like I don't understand how I allowed this to happen to me and I think that those voices and what it communicates about like you're not this and you're not that that's why the betrayal really stings and so getting over it for me comes down to really answer that question how did I miss it what are some checkpoints or safety points that I should have next time.
i'm shutting everything down i'm going to keep going i'm going to keep growing I'm going to keep my heart open for the next person for the next space and opportunity but what I want to understand is how can I be a better qualifier based off of this wound that I just experienced because betrayal does make you feel like I cannot trust myself or the decisions I make oh my god you're so right I love how you just put that because it really does become about you.
it's about you it's really not about what they did it's like how did I let this happen on my read yeah so how do you get to that point then of thinking of it like that because at the moment because i'm always in hindsight there's always some clarity yeah but in those moments it never feels like that no so how did you I mean going from you know at 13 that your sister portrays you and then just last year to be able to take a portrayal that you just had and be like oh okay so what did I miss and like almost like just use it as a lesson.
how long did that take you to evolve to that point I will tell you that I am one of those people who believe that everything that's happening in my life is happening for me so when I have a betrayal it's really difficult because I don't feel in the moment how it could work for me now right so if everything's working for me then it should work for me now that's not how that works though it's like in time everything will work together.
if you let the course of time play out then it's going to work together and so there's this beautiful sometimes complicated mental exercise of how could this work out for my good like how could this become better and to allow ourselves to really think on that in a way that says okay well maybe this next time I'll do this or next time I'll do that it allows us to open up our mind for how this wound can turn to wisdom this betrayal that I had last year I knew that it was trying to teach me a lesson and because I believe that everything that happens to me is ordained.
my goal is to lean into it and then to figure out what is the lesson connected to this so that I don't miss it next time wow yeah are you comfortable discussing the situation but I can't it was a professional betrayal and there was someone who was on our team that just did something that felt like the completely left field I couldn't understand what happened and then left the company in organization kind of like in this blaze of I won't call it glory because it was betrayal right in this blaze of betrayal and I was trying to figure out.
how our hiring practices needed to change and what were some of the cultural issues that we were having within our organization would allow something to slip through the cracks oh my god I love that so much because I immediately when you said that was like I would have gone straight into and I do if a team member leaves I go into straight like oh my god i'm a terrible leader yeah right how could I
have not read it coming like that's a
failure on my part.
I think there is a strength to that right in the sense of okay if it's all my fault what have I done wrong how do I change it but it's actually a little different to me when it becomes someone in your family also or a friend there's so much more emotion in it are you like are you able to distinctly separate things like okay this went wrong and this went wrong when it is emotional for you no i'm not but I will say this that I learned that those people cannot have access to certain parts of my person um you know not every person in your family can feed you not every person in your family can help you promote growth.
to create an environment for you to incubate hope some people are blowing your candle out while you're trying to get the flame going right and so to understand that like if i'm writing a book and I have someone who doesn't think that i'm smart or thinks it is silly no one's going to buy your book then I can't talk to my about my book to them to really understand based off of my interactions and engagements what boundaries.
I need it even when it comes to the family because it does hurt to have someone who's supposed to be in your corner telling you that you shouldn't be in the fight in the first place and there's I'll tell you this there's even a way where someone can tell you that I don't think this is your fight without damaging you in the process right because not everyone has to agree with you i'm not talking about having yes men right i'm talking about people who know how to even steer you in a different direction with grace and kindness in your heart and soul and mind.
yet people who are just like that are brutally honest I don't believe in that I don't think that's cute being brutal you can be honest without being brutal because at the end of the day, there's a person connected to it and so really understanding who in my family is qualified to help me with this part of my life who is just a great babysitter who makes the best potato salad and to be able to categorize them properly is really important I love that so much because just because you make an amazing potato salad doesn't mean that you've got a great idea about my business strategy oh no but I cannot wait to read you at the cookout.
that's really important actually because I think that if we respect people then at least for me if I respect someone I used to think oh well it means I have to listen to them right and all you have to do really is make sure that they feel like they have got their voice out but you don't have to take what they say and make it a part of your decision making especially when you know that you've got something that no one's really going to understand but you for a minute like when I created woman evolve.
I was like I want to create a space where people who know the lyrics to Beyonce's songs and love Megan d stallion but also want to figure out a little bit about scripture could come together I don't really figure out who am I how do I come through my past traumas and mistakes and how do I show up in the world and there was really nothing like it at least nothing that I had been exposed to that looked like that and it reamed a little crazy when we were planning our pre-shows and what the content was going to be like and yet there was this space that was just for me.
I would have told someone who only believed in traditional models of faith or only believed in traditional expressions of women's ministry then they would have told me that you can't do this and you can't do that and I would have maybe listened and missed out on the opportunity to be exposed to places and spaces that I should have never been in but I dared to believe and dare to incubate that thing and to keep boundaries around it.
I've been able to really experience some transformation for people I dare
to believe that really hit me there yeah
is it there it's a dare sometimes believing in yourself believing in what you know god's given you is like playing truth or dare the truth is i'm afraid but i'm going to dare to believe anyway the truth is i'm not qualified.
but i'm going to dare to go after it anyway just because it's true doesn't mean it has to become the compass in which you navigate your life sometimes faith is a dare sometimes the building is a dare my heart is broken but i'm going to dare to love again i'm grieving but i'm going to dare to get up and go to work i'm going to dare to continue to show up in my life with my broken pieces with my leftovers because I believe that if I continue to do that that there is unexpected beauty for me to behold not for me to achieve but for me to behold there is a version of you that you have yet to behold you are just getting started.
you're going to have to have these mornings in these moments where you dare to keep your eyes open even when it's easier to go through them with them closed and afraid so i'm going to keep my eyes open and my heart open because there's another me that I want to behold just need to let that sit that was so powerful girl it's such a like a beautiful powerful word but what do you think that is there is it giving people permission even if they don't feel capable I think it's permission for it to not be easy the only thing about sound bites and social media and motivational quotes is that it makes it sound like so easy.
the only person I want to be better than is the person I was yesterday that sounds beautiful for a quote and it's true but sometimes that's a dare for people and I think a dare says this is permission for you to be courageous because it's not always going to be easy and it's going to be an adventure a dare speaks to adventure it speaks not easy it's bold it's courageous you're going to have to become someone and do it whenever you're playing truth or dare as a kid it's like i'm going to put something in front of you and you're going to have to become someone to do it to close your eyes and just allow me to feed you something.
that's what's going to happen for us we're going to dare to step into these moments of our life and we're going to have to become someone to do that and I think that there's a permission and adventure connected to that word wow are there any um bumpers though or is it like the sky's the limit dare to do this dare to do that or do you like well it's like it only works if x y and z I think the only bumper that I would add is that the dare is not to get the dare is to become go on you know like i'm not daring you to become a billionaire right i'm daring you to become someone who produces their idea and reads it down to the finish line.
i'm daring you to become not to go and get and so when it is always about becoming and changing the way I think and communicating and educating and learning and growing this is about me becoming not what I can get so that's the only bumper I would add that's a pretty amazing bumper yeah that's a good one and you actually said it slightly I didn't want to interrupt you but it basically is your perception of the house what success is yes um talk to me about that because it's so powerful I think that we so get hung up on the end goal yeah which can be beautiful it's such a great driving force but we get so hung up on that that we think if we don't get there it's a failure okay.
I'll talk about it even with this book so um you know the book became a new york times bestseller when it came out and that was really exciting but I spent a lot of time in the pre-order phase in the marketing campaign not making my success about whether or not I hit the new york times bestsellers list because at the end of the day, there are incredible books that never make the list but what does happen is that it gets into the hands of one person or two people or a thousand people and it changes those people's lives and so.
I
wanted this book to be about transforming people's lives not necessarily having a shiny sticker on top of it and so for me when people started reading the book and they were like this is helping me this is changing me this is transforming me I said that's the sticker that's the only sticker that matters and so successful for me was about taking what I knew god gave me putting it out into the earth and allowing it to do whatever it does from that point.
I said this once in an Instagram live that success is obedience it is not allowing what's in you to die in you it is being obedient to that urge and that nudge that's pushing you towards manifestation and when I am obedient what happens from this is up to god and the world and the universe and the people who are connected to it but my only goal was to be obedient to what was in me and I became obedient and you know everything else happened after that god I love that so what would you actually do though if you were being obedient.
you write the book you're very proud of it and it completely tanks but the obedience is in writing the book it is not in the outcome it's not in the reception it's not in the validation of how people receive it the obedience is in I wrote the book and the moment that the book is written you have become obedient and therefore successful because it's you can't say that I don't want my life to be built on validation and then say I need my validation to become successful you know yeah the success is like I said in becoming obedient to what's in you Sarah you're just freaking amazing oh your book is chock full of such gold I could honestly talk to you forever girl.
where can people find you where can people find the book and everything that you're up to all your speaking events that you're doing okay I am on Instagram and Facebook at Sarah jakes roberts the book is available at womanevolv.com and you can go on there and get plugged in with our community our podcast our youtube our social media tours everything so just womanyvault.com and you can get all the goodies guys guys guys you have to read this book she reads the audible if you're an audible fan I am she reads it herself.
it's so cool to hear her talk about it so go get this book and if you're not following her go check her out check out all the amazing things she's doing her sermons her speaking is just fire and if you're not following me guys follow me at Lisa billy and if you're not subscribed click that subscribe button down there and until next time be the hero of your own life peace out what up guys thanks so
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